Digital manners
Keeping Your Phone from Taking Over the Table
Your companions should not have to compete with a screen.
Ask Alexander
Is phone use making a meal uncomfortable? Let’s find an approach that fits the occasion.
A phone can be useful at dinner and still become a distraction. The question is whether its use supports the people present or repeatedly removes you from their company. A little explanation can make a necessary exception much easier to understand.
Settle what can wait
Before sitting down, silence unnecessary notifications and put the phone somewhere that does not invite a glance at every vibration. If you are expecting an important call, say so briefly.
I’m waiting for an update from home. I may need to step out for a moment.
You need not disclose private details. If the call arrives, excuse yourself and move somewhere suitable rather than asking the whole table to share it.
Use the phone with the group, briefly
Looking up a train time or showing a photograph can help a conversation. Ask whether people want to see it, keep the interruption short, and return to the company afterwards.
Avoid turning every factual disagreement into a race to search. Sometimes the conversation can move on without a verdict.
Raise a problem without a public scolding
If someone’s attention keeps disappearing, make a simple request.
Could we put our phones away for a little while? I’d really like to catch up with you.
For a gathering you host, explain any shared preference warmly at the start. Consider necessary exceptions, including accessibility and caring responsibilities, rather than judging every use by appearance alone.
Alexander’s advice
Let the people beside you feel that you chose to spend this time with them.