Gentleman’s AdviceModern manners. Timeless good sense.

Digital manners

Ask Before Sharing Someone Else’s Photograph

Taking a picture together does not settle where it should appear.

Ask Alexander

Are you wondering whether to post a photograph, or how to ask someone to remove one?

A photograph can carry more information than its subject intended to share: who they were with, where they were, or something about their home or family. In ordinary social situations, asking before posting is a considerate way to avoid surprises.

Be clear about the audience

“May I take a photo?” and “May I post this publicly?” are different questions. Say where you plan to share it and whether you intend to tag the people pictured.

Would you be happy for me to put this on my public page, or would you prefer I keep it in our group?

Accept a refusal without demanding a reason. Avoid using a group’s enthusiasm to pressure one reluctant person. You can choose another image or leave it unposted.

Take extra care with personal moments

Private celebrations, children’s photographs, and images revealing a location deserve particular thought. Ask the relevant people before sharing; do not assume that earlier permission applies to every new picture or audience.

The same consideration applies to screenshots of private conversations. Something amusing to you may expose a detail the other person expected to remain between you.

If someone asks you to remove a post

Respond promptly and avoid debating whether they look good in it. Remove the image where you control it, and be honest about any sharing you cannot undo.

If you want your own photograph removed, make the request direct: “Please take that photo down and remove the tag. I don’t want it posted.”

Alexander’s advice

An enjoyable moment need not become public to count as a memory.

Good advice. Freely offered.

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